Tatsumi Girl

A few weeks ago my doctor refused to renew my Xanax refill and instead insisted on an appointment. I understand that my chill-pills can be habit forming and I’m terrified of becoming addicted to one more substance but I’m even more scared of being without mood-altering help. During my check-up I told my doc that I was doing pretty well and that I typically only used the pills to fall asleep these days. Of course, I said, I am also unemployed right now so my work-stress is at an all-time low but I doubt it will stay that way once I find a new position. My doc suggested switching to real sleeping pills and cutting the chill-pills from my diet alltogether. At the time, I thought it was a great idea. I thought it meant I was making progress with my self-regulating attempts and that this was a graduation of sorts. Now, I’m just scared. It’s been 5 days (not long, I know) and my dreams have been very lucid and rather nasty. Not one nice dream among the bunch. Plus I’m all groggy in the morning - more groggy than usual - and my jaw is killing me so Im obviously grinding and clenching my teeth throughout the night. How long do I have to wait until I call the experiment failed and beg for my happy-pills back? What do I do if my doc won’t give them to me? I don’t want to be some kind of crazed junkie doctor-hopping to get her next fix but I’m not sure what the other options mght be. Then again, this could just be my regular menstral-related monthly freakout and I’ll feel much better in a few days. Ugh, I sure hope it’s that. Blech!!!