My first two days at Rapture were really fun. I’ve meet most of the ladies and they’ve all been wonderful. I got to play with blood, balls, beatings and so much more - and that was just the training! I can hardly wait until I get to play with the clients! 
Tomorrow will be my first full day on the job and I’ll be there for 14 hours. If you want to talk to me, they have a niteflirt line (1-800-TO-FLIRT ext 0547444) which I can take calls on anytime I’m there. And, if you want to see me, call Rapture and make an appointment. Yippee, Me!
If you haven’t already heard, I’ve got myself a new gig working as a pro-domme at an awesome NYC house. Tomorrow is my first day and I’m totally nervous and very psyched! How cool would it be to make a living doing what I love to do in my spare time?! Now, if ony I could figure out how to avoid lying to my parents while not disappointing them with the truth at the same time. So far vague avoidance has been working but I can’t keep that up forever. Oh well, all due things in time (or something like that). Wish me luck!
I made it to lunch today with a former co-worker at what would have been my new office space less than 5 minutes from my house. It was really nice to see so many friendly smiling faces looking at me, happy to see me, and it was all so phoney and fake and pretenious, it reaffirmed my decision not to go back to corporate America. I had planned to call a cool pro-domme house in NYC to see if I could meet with thier personnel director (pimp?) before TES tonight but I just didn’t feel up to it after the 3 hour lunch. I think I caught some of Daddy’s cold - either that or I have some serious allergies acting up - whatever it is, it knocked me around for a good few hours this afternoon so I went to bed instead of going to the city. (Shrugs) At least I don’t have to get up for a day job in the morning!
Tuesday, Oct 10th - Volunteer sign up meet and greet at TES
Thursday, Oct 12th - Board of Directors Meeting — Members Only at Purple Passion
Saturday, Oct 14th - NYC Leather Invasion at the LGBT Center
Well, the doggie splash down didn’t quite go as planned. It seems that the creek in my brother’s back yard actually belongs to one of his neighbors and that guy wanted our dogs to be leashed while on his property. Since that would only end in a huge tangled mess of leashes and wetness, we decided to leave instead. Boo 
I’m taking my two goldens to my brother’s house in a few minutes so they can splash around in the creek behind his house while I take pictures. I’m so glad it’s sunny and warm today. I hate winter. I wish I could convince everyone I love to move south with me. Be back soon with soggy pics
I think I’ve been hiding out. I’m definately bitchy and moody. I’m bleeding and emotional. My English is all but forgotten. I had so many things to say. I can’t really get up the enthusiam or courage or motivation to put any of them into words. I’ve started drawing again. It’s good for my inner-child. I play with markers and pastels and paints and pencils. I throw away the bad pictures and save the good ones. I wish my Daddy had a fridge of his own so he could put them up and be proud of them - of me. I haven’t heard anything new about my great-aunt in a few days. I’m afraid to ask. Of course, we’ll hear when she’s gone but until then… Ramblings of a mad-women. Not her, me. I’m babbling. I know that. I’m just sad and kinda at odds with my own, personal solar system. My universe is okay but this solar system is just not quote right. Maybe there’s a stay comet passing thru or something. Maybe it’s the change in the weather. Maybe it was being a baby shower this morning. Maybe it was seeing friends from my last job and having to lie about my current occupation so I didn’t feel like a total loser. Maybe it was taking a really low paying gig just so my Mother would get off my back for a few days. Maybe it’s that Daddy has a cold so I can’t see him this weekend. Maybe it’s that I put myself on a diet and all I can think about is ice-cream and french fries. Maybe it’s the almost-negitive account balance in my check book. Maybe it’s that Flagg will be going home soon and will want his cat back and I’ve become really fond of the little bugger. Maybe it’s just hormones. Does it really matter what IT is anyway? Nah, not really. Sleep. Sleep is the cure-all. Can’t worry or feel bad or be annoyed or angry or whatever when your’e sleeping. Well, I guess you can in dreams but with the right meds, you don’t even dream when you sleep. Lucky me - I have such wonder-pills. Of course, I don’t get shit done when I sleep all the time. And now that I’m on the TES BoD, I have lots that I said I’d do. I also have about 5 camp-related posts half-done and a ton of return e-mails in my drafts folder. This is why I say I’m bad at being a good friend - no follow-thru. I say I’ll write or call or whatever and then I don’t. It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I don’t know what to say or where to start and the fear of being rejected is too large to risk so I just don’t bother. Plus I get the added benefit of being able to beat myself up about being a bad person later. I apparently love doing that to myself because I do it a lot. Blech. I think I need a happy pill and a nap. I’m sure shit will be much better after both. Thanks in advance for your hugs and support but really, I’m fine. This is probably just hormones and will pass in a few hours. Consider this a moment of weakness caught in an otherise rational being. Hell, I might not even hit publish. Nah, I will publish this just so I can see it again next month and remind myself that this too shall pass. < / end ramble >
Kimi sent me a link so I could sign up with SparkPeople Inc. The site a preventive health media company that offers personalized weight loss, healthy living and healthy pregnancy programs. Blah Blah Blah - They offer free support and guidance while you watch what you eat and work out. My goal is 30 lbs in 6 months. Wish me luck:)
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